random thoughts of one wednesday evening....

Its 6.09 pm and its pouring cats n dogs in Mumbai…listening to the unplugged version of “tu jaane na” from the ranbir kapoor starrer ‘ajab prem ki gazab kahani’, I sit down 2 write …umm…I don’t know d topic yet :P..well…kailash kher is an awesome singer…he’s got this soulful voice which gets into your veins ….should I write a poem, may be a blog…or may be a li’l story …not that I’m lazy 2 do any of these….it’s this total different feeling….the feeling of “a feeling in the numbness” …how is one supposed 2 feel anything when he/she is numb…well….numb means “feeling nothing”…but strangely there is some kind of feeling that I can experience in this numbness of today….i can’t figure it out and my poor verbal communication skills fail 2 give me a synonym for this feeling….it’s like an egg-white within the yolk…is it possible??...y not….how would Einstein be Einstein if he’d never thought about the impossible….am I writing some shit….i guess so….but do I really care :P…I pity the reader, if any..hahahaha…..what am I gonna do with this stupid self of mine ….there’s some strange kind of space that I have recently been introduced 2 within myself….did it always exist with a possibility that I failed 2 notice….or is it that the recent events have created this space…and it is as new and fresh as dew drops or may be “new product development”…god marketing fundas are getting onto my nerves….whatever it is…..y are people so conscious when they write???...does my blog contain grammatical/verbal errors?? Are my sentences structured or am I losing the flow of it??? Is this piece of writing impressive??? How much would I score on a scale of 5 for my writing??...u write for urself…n having been conditioned on ur writing skills for 12 yrs of ur life, u r really conscious of what u write….ditch man…its ur space…write whatever shit u want to….i hate it when I edit my blog every few minutes while writing this….i hate 2 do it ..i still do it…n it still does not seem perfect….n I still don’t care….accha enuf of this….lets talk something abt what we call “belief”…I know …the first thing that comes 2 ur mind is “what a lame word”…..n god …this is a crazy n philosophical woman….but having gone into the depth of its meaning makes me realize there’s lot more 2 it……it’s the biggest intangible asset that the human self holds…one vital thing(read as feeling) that gives u the courage to dream, courage 2 love, to let go, 2 touch the unknown part of ur soul….to experience joy/sorrow, to aspire, to hope n to wait….n to have faith…in whatever it is that u believe….people credit words like “determination”, “hard work”, etc for all their success, even if that means being able to pluck a fruit from a nearby farm….but belief in a thing is wat gives birth 2 hope, determination, hard work etc…wat makes a frnd trust in another, wat makes a person love selflessly…its all abt belief….if u believe in something…it is for u….im not sayin that u will always bear fruits following ur belief…u might face rejections, betrayal, deceit..etc….belief n trust are two very different things….trust is related 2 a person/thing….n it is developed over time….but belief is what u find in urself…..which takes no effort….it happens by itself n u start ‘believing” in it….but the whole point of one’s existence seems meaningless without having a “belief” ….now that might differ at the individual level….there comes a time when u rewind ur lfe…look at the way things have shaped…u realize this was not the way u wanted it…but don’t stop believing in it….destiny has its own plans for u….n they work best…u just hav 2 believe, believe n still believe….a heart-break n ur belief in love is lost….love lies always within u…so believe in it….so is the case with every other relationship…..

its all abt believibg....ur beliefs can change over time...but having "belief" in the moment is what matters....so believe....n lose urself in that belief :)